All those things make you feel good right? I used to think so. I used to compliment all the other horses in the barn, thinking I would be helping their self esteem by reminding them how great they are. But, new studies indicate that this may not be the case.

An article by Po Bronson, posted in New York Magazine, states that certain types of praise can have a negative effect on the behavior of people. (For the entire article, go here: http://nymag.com/news/features/27840/)

A study was done that indicated that if a child is constantly told they are “smart” or “talented” or “the best,” it can create a situation in their minds that makes them “risk adversant.” They become so sensitive to any task that isn’t immediately easy, that they stop trying. They won’t take risks that might prove to their parent(s) or teacher(s) that they don’t have the natural talent or brains with which they’ve been labeled. In equestrian terms, it takes away their “try.”

So, what should you do instead? Acknowledgement is important and you still want to acknowledge success and effort. However, you can change the way you “praise” by simply stating (with a positive tone in your voice) what action was actually completed, without the qualitative words like “good,” “best,” “smart,” or “talented.”

What’s the difference? Instead of saying something like, “You’re really good at lead changes,” you simply state with a happy voice, “You did three lead changes!” It may sound like the same thing, but it’s NOT! To say “good lead changes” makes the statement qualitative and about YOU, the observer, and what the observer has just observed… indicating that the action has now been judged as “good.” But to say, “you did three lead changes,” acknowledges a FACT about what the person (or horse) factually DID. It’s only about the person who just completed the task. There is no judgement, no opinion, just the facts about what was done. And such a statement will automatically cause the subject to look back at his or herself, and say inside with pride, “Yes! I did three lead changes!” It feels so good to acknowledge the self without first seeing it through the observer’s point of view, that the behavior will most likely be repeated!

This subtle difference is very powerful. And, it’s a bit confusing at first. Practice acknowledging your students, children (if you have them), and friends (both two and four legged), and see if you can just state the FACTS in a happy, appreciative voice. Then, watch how they react. You may be able to see their attention switching to their inner-self with a smile and a straightening of their posture. It’s very interesting to observe.

It is important that you acknowledge yourself this way, too. Rather than saying, “I rode well today,” say, “I rode my horse today, and we ran through First Level, test two, four times.” Or, “I went to the barn and brushed my horse today.” State what you DID, without a qualifying or judgment word. Notice how acknowledging the FACTS about what you did, changes how you feel inside!

I completed eleven one tempis in a row today! I practiced pirouettes for ten minutes today. I slept in the sun for two hours this afternoon. I dictated this message to you today. Acknowledging these facts gives me a great sense of accomplishment!

What have YOU done today? Just the facts, ma’am. Just the FACTS….

Love, Moshi

I’ve decided I want to be on Dancing with the Stars. I’ve never seen a dog on the show, and I think it’s time. Don’t you think so? Jane likes to dance, and sometimes we dance around the house together. My foxtrot is better than her’s, but her waltz is better than mine. We practice so we both can be better dancers. I wonder if they will reply to my request to be in the show. After all, I’m a STAR of sorts! I mean, I get fan mail and everything!

Is there something that you’ve always wanted to do, but have never really put any effort into making it happen? Why is that? Is it fear of failure? Is it fear of success? How would your world be different if you really did do that thing you’ve always dreamed of?

There is a saying going around, that no one lies on their death bed wishing they had spent more time in the office. So where would YOU have wished you’d spent more time, if you knew your days were numbered? Well, guess what.. your days ARE numbered! Hopefully your number is still very high, but maybe today is the day to start taking action on that dream of yours!

Just for today, I’m going to imagine that I was chosen to be a contestant on Dancing with the Stars. I’m going to practice my waltz and show off my foxtrot. Whether or not they pick me, I know I’ve done what I can to give forward momentum to my dream.

So today, to acknowledge myself, I’ll say; I practiced my waltz for fifteen minutes today. I practiced my foxtrot for ten minutes today. Today I sent in my application for Dancing with the Stars.

Ahhh… that feels good inside to know I’ve done something productive toward achieving my dream.

Do you like to dance? Come on over and I’ll teach you the foxtrot! Of course, I call it the dogtrot.

Love, Indy

I was thinking about how slippery it is out on the wet grass, and sure enough, I slipped. I was thinking about how angry that gelding at the end of my stall row makes me, and sure enough I became angry. I was thinking about how I sometimes get a headache when a storm comes, and sure enough, I got a headache.

I keep saying that what you think about expands. Over and over and in many different ways I share my belief that we attract whatever we concentrate on. And yet, I still find myself putting my own attention on things I don’t want. Why do I do that when I KNOW that’s going to create the very things I do not want? Oops, I just gave my attention to getting what I don’t want by seeing that I get what I don’t want by thinking about what I don’t want! ARG! It’s crazy making!

If I say to you, don’t think about a pink and blue zebra striped horse, what happens in your mind? Do you see a green spotted cow? Now you do, simply because I mentioned it. You’re now probably thinking about a zebra AND a cow. You can’t NOT see something you’re thinking about! The brain simply can’t see a “not.”

So how do you trick the mind into visualizing what you want, and not what’s physically in front of you?

There is a fun and powerful trick that was taught to me by my friend, Jonathan Manske. www.JonathanManske.com He calls it the “fact witch.” It goes like this.

State out-loud two or three simple things that you know and firmly believe are absolutely TRUE, and then state something you’d like to be different in your life as if it actually was true as well.

For example, if you’ve having money issues right now, you could say, “I am a brunette (blonde, redhead, whatever applies to you…), and I live in ______ (your town), and I am a MONEY MAGNET. You may not currently be experiencing yourself as someone who attracts money, but your mind will already be in the state of believing when you make the third statement, which will make it much easier for your mind to accept what you want to believe as TRUTH. And if your mind successfully holds the belief that you are a money magnet, you will attract money just like a magnet!

I am a solid black horse, I am owned by Jane Savoie, and I am a carrot magnet!

I am a solid black horse, I am owned by Jane Savoie, and I am a carrot magnet!

I am a solid black horse, I am owned by Jane Savoie, and I am a carrot magnet!

Hey! Here comes Jane down the aisle with a bag of carrots! It works!

Love, Moshi

I’ve put on a few pounds over the holidays. When Jane wasn’t looking, some friend of her’s shared some cookies with me. I swiped a few candy canes off the barn’s Christmas tree and stole half a bag of horse treats someone had left on the floor. Now I’m feeling a bit heavy and uncomfortable. When I complained to Moshi, he suggested I try Jonathan’s “fact witch” process to see if I could get my attention on what I DO want to feel like, instead of what I’m feeling now.

So, here goes.

My name is Indy, I am a Golden Retriever, and I am healthy and fit.

My name is Indy, I am a Golden Retriever, and I am healthy and fit.
My name is Indy, I am a Golden Retriever, and I am healthy and fit.

Hummm…Yes, I can see myself in my mind as healthy and fit. To me that means I am svelte and really fast. I can visualize that in my mind. I’ll repeat this process several times a day and let you know how I feel next week!

My name is Indy, I am a Golden Retriever, and I am fit and healthy. Yep…that feels “TRUE!”

What would YOU like to have show up in your life? Make it “TRUE” in your mind, and then see what happens!

Love, Indy

A friend of mine in Australia wrote to me this week, expressing her excitement about learning dressage after a career on the race track. She had been a bit discouraged at her progress because she was used to being successful on the track mostly by her strong will and a strong hand. Neither are very conducive to an artful picture of riding. Once she realized that she could break dressage down into small, understandable pieces that fit together like an elegant puzzle, her sense of self-worth soared. She didn’t have to force her way into success….she could gently finesse her way to success!

The level of worthiness we feel makes a huge difference in how we live our lives. It’s true that we can never rise above, nor out perform our own self-image. So if you want to improve your life, the first order of business is to improve your view of yourself.

This is easy to say, but is much harder to do. Are you open to a suggestion? Find a couple of friends you trust and feel safe with, and ask them to write down all the things about you that they LIKE. No negatives here…just the things they LIKE about you. Then do the same about yourself. Write down all the things about you that YOU like. Read these lists three times a day for 21 days. Then watch what shows up in your life!

I like my long flowing mane and tail, my shiny black coat, and my ability to do terrific pirouettes. Jane said she is most proud of my one tempis and my strong work ethic. I’m going to concentrate on these things for the next 21 days and see what happens!

In the meantime, I’m going to help the young mare who just moved into the barn with her confidence. She’s a diamond in the rough, and I want to be there with the polish! How about you? Is there someone you could help today?

Love, Moshi

Yesterday I went swimming with my friend Chance, when I got a mouthful of water and nearly choked! It scared me for a minute. It hurt, and I couldn’t breathe. Chance was worried too. He stayed right beside me and made sure I got out of the water okay. It was really nice of him.

Chance is one of those fellows who is always there for me. He’s a really good friend. He’s never talked bad about me, judged me when I’m having a bad day, or intentionally hurt my feelings. He’s one of those dogs that everyone feels safe with.

When I got out of the water, I thought to myself how lucky I am to have such a great friend. I realized I’d never told him that. But I really do appreciate Chance and how good he treats me. After I stopped coughing, I nuzzled him with my nose and told him that he’s a great friend. It made him smile.

Who in your life is a great friend? Are there people who make you smile, help you feel safe, or otherwise make your life better? Perhaps today is a good day to let them know how much you appreciate them. It will make you both feel good.

Love, Indy

Focus. It’s the most driving force in anyone’s success. Oh sure…Occasionally there are successes that just fall into your lap. But that is incredibly rare. Focus is one of those things that creates opportunity. It creates a vibration of success. The energy of the Universe aligns with your vision, and you become unstoppable.

I decided I wanted to beat Indy in a race. He’d already beat me once, so I had some history to overcome. I could have wallowed in my failure, I could have given up and just accepted that he’s the faster fellow, or I could focus on a goal and not stop until I reached it. My desire to win wasn’t about Indy at all, it was about proving that I could change my experience though my own focus and will.

So I started dreaming. That’s right…dreaming. I imagined Indy and me running the circle around my turnout with me in the lead the entire time. I imagined “that winning feeling” of joy I was going to feel when I reached the finish line first. I did the physical work of challenging myself each time I was turned out or ridden, pushing myself a little bit farther than I thought I could go, but always added the mental emotions of joy in success and winning with each workout.

And yes, the next time Indy and I raced, I was the winner! Indy was a good sport about it, but he informed me that he’s going to work on it and beat ME next time. We’ll see!

Love, Moshi

There are a bunch of new dogs at our Florida barn this year. I met a few of them yesterday. I felt a little shy and out of place. They’ve already bonded in a ”pack” and weren’t sure they wanted me to join in. One of them snapped at me, and they all ran off leaving me standing alone. I struggled with hurt feelings and a sense of isolation. It hurt.

A friend of Jane’s recently wrote about an incident that hurt his feelings and that reminded me of how I felt with the new pack of dog friends. This fellow brought some cavaletties to his new equestrian center so he could work on his horse’s rhythm and conditioning. When he was done riding, he left the cavalettis along the side of the arena, thinking other boarders might want to use them. But instead of using them, the established “pack” of boarders became angry and criticized him as too lazy to put his tools away. This hurt him, as his intentions were to be generous and caring of others, not lazy or thoughtless. To have his act of kindness turned against him by the established group stung and made him want to leave the barn.

This kind of event is called a “break in belonging.” It is one of the most painful things a person goes through, and it has a profound psychological effect. Children, especially, will make life-long decisions about themselves and their place in the world based on these “breaks.” The effect these events have on a person’s psyche cannot be overstated.

So what do you do when you have a “break in belonging”? First of all, recognizing what’s going on will help take some of the sting out of the event. Self-examination can increase personal wisdom and improve future choices. Do you need to apologize? Do you need to change your behavior? Would it be helpful to explain your actions to the leader of the group?

Some unhealthy groups form and become stronger because they pick a common “enemy” to give them a sense of belonging. Recognizing the “pack mentality” and knowing it says more about them than it does about you, gives you the opportunity to step back and take a look at what’s really going on. Then you get to decide if this is really a group that fits your core values or if is it a toxic group with whom you would be wise to remain an outsider.

It’s easy for me to tell you not to let the feelings of rejection bother you. I understand what’s happening, and it still bothers me. These “breaks in belonging” happen to everyone, no exceptions. It’s up to each of us to decide whether we should try to “fix” the break, or let it go and move on.

I decided to change my focus, find my good friend Geoffrey, and have a fun day playing with him. Later, the other dogs saw us, and eventually we all played a great game of hide and seek together. I decided to focus on the fun, and ignore the past negative feelings. And I ended up having a terrific day!

What are YOU focused on today? Remember, whatever you focus on, you get more of! Decide to focus on having a GREAT day!

Love, Indy

Today the Dressage Mentor Reunion starts at the horse show where I’ll critique the rides through headsets! Then on to more lessons, position analysis, EQui-Chi with Kris Garrett, and Thermography demo.

Sunday, we’re back at the horse show to critiques both rides and warm-ups. Then off to my farm for two more lessons (One with an Olympian who I’ve taught since she was a kid!), and then a saddle fitting demo with Jochen Schleese,

We’re having a blast at the Dressage Mentor Reunion in this 75 degree, sunny , Florida weather!!!!!!

What makes the difference between success and failure? Not reaching your goal is often as simple a matter as giving up too soon.

I’ve seen this over and over in dressage competition. Someone has a bad day in the ring, and they give up in frustration. They get so upset they scratch from the rest of their classes. It may have been a simple mistake, or a forgotten element, or a skill that wasn’t quite ready to be performed for a judge. The fix might be one tiny tweak. But the experience of failing makes some people throw in the towel.

Toughness in the face of adversity is one of the most valuable assets you can cultivate. If you’re not naturally brave or in the habit of pushing through the discomfort of “failure,” you can change this. All you have to do is DECIDE to change. Decide that nothing is going to stop you from your goal! No matter what it is–business, relationships, riding, showing. Make the decision that you’re going to use mistakes and setbacks as your roadmap to success!

Remember…You have to risk failure in order to succeed!

I’m going to race Indy today. He’s beat me before, so I’ve been practicing. I’m faster than ever! My goal is to beat him to the end of the fence, and today just might be my day! Do you want to watch? See you at the barn! Bring carrots for the winner, okay?

Love, Moshi