From Indy


A friend of mine was hit by a car today. She didn’t make it. I’m so sad I can hardly stand it. I can’t believe she is gone. Vannah was such a fun, lively friend and playmate. Her human friend is devastated and has been crying all day. The people around her have tried to comfort her, but it doesn’t seem to be helping. The poor lady’s heart hurts too much to be consoled.

We all know that death is part of life. That’s a given. And we all know that losing someone we love hurts, especially when they die young. Where it goes wrong is when we resist that hurt. Grief is one of those things that simply has to be felt. We have to cry, lament, vent, or wail. Whatever it takes to fully feel and express what’s going on inside. It’s in trying to deny, to be strong, to stuff or suppress our feelings that we get in trouble.

If you have a friend who’s had a great loss, can you be strong enough to let them fully feel their emotions? Can you be the neutral support who doesn’t try to change how they are feeling? Remember, when you’re trying to make someone not feel upset, you’re doing that because YOU are uncomfortable. Do your best to be strong enough for them to have their feelings in the moment. Give them permission to experience their emotions, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you.

I went to Vannah’s owner and let her cry into my fur. She hugged me so hard I thought I might break. But I stayed with her and let her cry it out. I know she’ll need to cry more later, but I did feel as though she may have released some of her grief. Time will help her heal, and I’m going to be here for her through the process. That’s the best thing I can do for her.

Do you need to cry? Do you have someone who can be with you while you feel those deep, painful feelings? If you don’t have a human to share your grief with, know that your horse or your dog has the ability to be your support. We’re not afraid of your feelings, and we can help you process, if you let us. It’s our greatest gift to man/womankind.

Love, Indy

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